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Darth Vader at the Movies

Monday, November 28th, 2011

One of the more amusing stories of my sad, geeky and oddly interesting past has to be my fanboy trip to the movies when I was young. It was 1981 and, being a HUGE Star Wars fan (I was a card-carrying member of the fan club), I had it in my head to go see The Empire Strikes Back in full Darth Vader regalia! The timing couldn't be more perfect, my parents were away in Ireland and I was staying at our house with my big brother and a caretaker. The Empire Strikes Back was in re-release (remember when they did that before DVDs and VCRs?). I had tons of free time to create the costume, McGyver-style, to go with my awesome new Darth Vader Helmet I had acquired the previous Christmas!

I had a black cape from Halloweens past and black pants and sweatshirt. I had made a light saber handle on our wood lathe a year before. All that was missing was the chest panel, plates and belt panels. I made these out of Styrofoam, tape and paint. I had a near-miss with the knife - a little moment of panic where it cut my wrist a little and was having visions of lying in a pool of my own blood with my moment of geeky glory unrealized :P (I still have a scar battle wound from that). Either way, I got the costume done and I looked awesome! I was ready to go!

Checking the paper for showtimes, I planned of having my brother (who HAS to be the BEST brother in the world to do this) take me to the theater the next day (Saturday). The afternoon show! Not too busy, so the perfect time to show up in my fanboy best!

My brother thought I was "off my rocker" but he said he'd drop me off. Getting dressed up, we got in the car and off we went! I opened the door, got out and he drove off with a laugh. There I was, 5'4" Darth Vader, standing at the theater box office ready to pruchase the ticket to... um, "isn't there a showing for The Empire Strikes Back?" "We stopped showing that yesterday," came from a chuckling voice inside.

...kill me now.

Shaking his fist at the box office, Darth Vader says, "I find your lack of a showing disturbing""umm... ohhh-kayyy... what is playing?" I ask. "*snicker* the only thing that isn't "R" rated (pointing out the obvious lack of height for a Lord of the Sith) is The Four Seasons with Alan Alda," came that same (already loathed) voice.

"I'll take a ticket, please!" I said immediately. At this point, sitting in the back of a very dark movie theater sounded like the best damn idea I had all that day.

"Here is your ticket, the show starts in 30 minutes. *chuckle*"

...

...bastard.

I stood in the lobby for 20 hours minutes- Darth Vader, feared by a galaxy, second in command of the evil Empire, going to see Alan Alda in his finest performance.

The door opened and I slipped inside, took my helmet off and sat in the back and thoroughly enjoyed the movie- I recommend seeing it, it really had some great acting that moved me in many ways.

The movie ended, I put my helmet back on, assuming the guise of the Dark Lord again and walked outside to the curb and quickly in my brother's waiting car.

Getting back to the house, I checked the paper and it was the previous week's paper- The Empire Strikes Back's final week. Whenever planning a visit to the theaters regaled as the Lord of the Sith, ALWAYS check the dates for the movie times! :P

EGF: If you bother to check the fact that I was born in '68, you'll calculate that I was thirteen when this happened.

Update: After visiting my family this Thanksgiving, I have come home with photographic evidence. Behold...

Actual Archival Photo

My Mom dug this up from her photo archive. This is an actual photo of the suit!

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Posted in Best, Geek History | 2 Comments »

Coming Home

Friday, March 25th, 2011

This is the 5th and final part of  the our story about moving out west to find our dreams. Finding instead, no work and a lot of debt. Click here to start from the beginning.

Yes! I had a job lined up, finally! It was just a 3000 mile commute. With that being a little too long even for me, we set to making moving arrangements.

Because I had a real job lined up (as a PHP developer, I might add), we decided to replace Cathy's old Sentra before the trip back. We purchased a brand-new 2003 Forester! Perfect for cross-country trips!

We didn't have to make arrangements for our cat, Church (aptly named after the cat in Pet Cemetery). Unfortunately, we had to put him down the month before. He had developed cancer and he would've had a painful death. Still, it was one of the hardest things we did. He absolutely loved that little apartment and was our constant companion the whole time out there. He died after a long, happy retirement in the Northwest. He is missed.

Having learned the lessons of cross-country moving before, we called a moving company (after considerable online research). They came out, cocooned all of our furniture in plastic, moved everything into the truck and drove ahead. That was the last we ever saw of our stuff... nah- just kidding. They drove ahead and we hopped in the cars and took off the next day. Sure it cost $3000, but it was worth every penny!

Our route back east was a little different because I wanted us to see Mount Rushmore and Bull Run and Wisconsin. We had fun doing the drive again, and there were no bad surprises on the trip. It's just that it felt like a retreat of sorts.

We tried to make it out there, but couldn't. Now, we were moving into Cathy's parent's basement with $16,000 of credit card debt. We are eternally grateful for Cathy's parents. Without them, we never would've been able to chop down our debt while saving for a house, all within the span of one year. They helped us and housed us, and for that, we love them.

Cathy and I found a fabulous home in downtown Frederick. I've since moved to a different job, . Cathy has continued here career and has become a wonderful designer. We now have our awesome little boy and are trying to be the best parents we can

We still have debt, but are whittling it down exponentially. We sometimes talk about our Oregon experience. While I have extremely fond memories of that time, Cathy remembers it being a stressful period of uncertainty. It was probably somewhere in the middle. One thing I will say, is we have some great memories (some bad) and we had adventure.

Posted in Geek History, Westward Memoir | No Comments »

Paradise Lost

Monday, March 21st, 2011

This is part 4 of  the our story about moving out west to find our dreams. Finding instead, no work and a lot of debt. Click here to start from the beginning.

The economy, they said, was recovering. That statement was, at best, optimistic. Whether it was or wasn't, September 11th shattered any hope of that. The markets stagnated or tanked soon afterward. The job postings all but vanished in Portland. The headhunters we had used went out of business. We were still getting freelance, but not enough to get us ahead. We were able to pay off the $800/month rent (which was pricey at the time, but seems dreamy now), buy food and pay some bills. Occasionally we had to use the credit card, but did so only in emergencies.

After Cathy's friend came to visit, and they had gone white-water rafting, we purchased insurance. We thought it would be best, if we were going to be doing anything like that again! Three seasons out of the year, we had access to inexpensive fresh veggies and fruit with the help of Beaverton's farmer's market. We had discovered how to grocery shop frugally with the help of Fred Meyers and the local co-op! Beyond that, we rarely went out to eat.

The first summer Cathy had found some great pick-your-own farms on Sauvy Island on the Willamette River. She went out with, and without me (when I was working on freelance), to pick blackberries, marion berries (for real!), blueberries and peaches. That first summer, she canned (bless he Pennsylvania-Durch heart!) most of the harvest.

The Second Summer

That was how we got by. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't "moving forward" either. The freelance started to dry up, then I got a bite on a job. It wasn't much, but tech-support for HP paid some bills! For a whole month, I trained how to be a tech-support operator. We signed up with their credit union and things were looking better. Then, the HP contract got cut and I was laid off.

...really?!

Then Cathy got a bite. This was good bite though. She got a job for a not-to-be-mentioned scrapbooking company south of Portland. Sure, it was an hour commute, sure it was only for $23k, but it was a job! Better- it was a job in her field! She started immediately, and we both felt relieved. As our money situation was improving however, Cathy's situation was not. She came home with tales of women crying (on a daily basis) in the office . Then she got an understanding of why. The owner and staff of the not-to-be-mentioned company were adept at cruel remarks, backstabbing, and general not-niceness. It turned out to be the worst job either she or I had ever seen. Cathy started crying most nights about how terrible it was. It was really bad. Finally, after three really suck-worthy months, I told her to quit. My parents, who were visiting that week, even agreed. She should hand in her resignation gracefully. So imagine how crappy a work environment would really have to be when you would quite the job after a year of unemployment and that would be this place!

During any downtime, I wan't twiddling my thumbs when I wasn't working- I was learning. I decided I would learn server-side code writing in PHP. I bought books. I made websites with forums and chat, newsletter admins and content management. Really cool, geeky-type-stuff! I was becoming "marketable!"

I met Steve through a job posting for a PHP person. These folks needed help with their church consulting website that was mostly (but not all) written. It was out of my comfort zone, but I had to have some work. I made some code adjustments and did some icon development work and Steve was impressed. It was looking good again... We could actually do this!

The Second (and Last) Winter

No, we couldn't. While this was promising, time was ticking. We had accrued $16k in credit card debt. Neither of us still had any full time job and freelance, though good right-that-moment would dry up again. We had decided we wanted kids and we couldn't (wouldn't!) do it under these circumstances. We decided we would look for work back east in the D.C. area. Amazingly the D.C. area was relatively immune from the lack-of-job-opportunity slump that had been hitting the whole country. We both sent out resumes.

March 2003

Maryland Sea Grant, under the University of Maryland's Center of Environmental Sciences, needed a PHP person for a five year grant. After two phone interviews (and lots of praying), I was that person. It was settled, we were leaving.
Next: Coming Home

Posted in Westward Memoir | No Comments »

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