Archive for the ‘Best’ Category

Darth Vader at the Movies

Monday, November 28th, 2011

One of the more amusing stories of my sad, geeky and oddly interesting past has to be my fanboy trip to the movies when I was young. It was 1981 and, being a HUGE Star Wars fan (I was a card-carrying member of the fan club), I had it in my head to go see The Empire Strikes Back in full Darth Vader regalia! The timing couldn't be more perfect, my parents were away in Ireland and I was staying at our house with my big brother and a caretaker. The Empire Strikes Back was in re-release (remember when they did that before DVDs and VCRs?). I had tons of free time to create the costume, McGyver-style, to go with my awesome new Darth Vader Helmet I had acquired the previous Christmas!

I had a black cape from Halloweens past and black pants and sweatshirt. I had made a light saber handle on our wood lathe a year before. All that was missing was the chest panel, plates and belt panels. I made these out of Styrofoam, tape and paint. I had a near-miss with the knife - a little moment of panic where it cut my wrist a little and was having visions of lying in a pool of my own blood with my moment of geeky glory unrealized :P (I still have a scar battle wound from that). Either way, I got the costume done and I looked awesome! I was ready to go!

Checking the paper for showtimes, I planned of having my brother (who HAS to be the BEST brother in the world to do this) take me to the theater the next day (Saturday). The afternoon show! Not too busy, so the perfect time to show up in my fanboy best!

My brother thought I was "off my rocker" but he said he'd drop me off. Getting dressed up, we got in the car and off we went! I opened the door, got out and he drove off with a laugh. There I was, 5'4" Darth Vader, standing at the theater box office ready to pruchase the ticket to... um, "isn't there a showing for The Empire Strikes Back?" "We stopped showing that yesterday," came from a chuckling voice inside.

...kill me now.

Shaking his fist at the box office, Darth Vader says, "I find your lack of a showing disturbing""umm... ohhh-kayyy... what is playing?" I ask. "*snicker* the only thing that isn't "R" rated (pointing out the obvious lack of height for a Lord of the Sith) is The Four Seasons with Alan Alda," came that same (already loathed) voice.

"I'll take a ticket, please!" I said immediately. At this point, sitting in the back of a very dark movie theater sounded like the best damn idea I had all that day.

"Here is your ticket, the show starts in 30 minutes. *chuckle*"

...

...bastard.

I stood in the lobby for 20 hours minutes- Darth Vader, feared by a galaxy, second in command of the evil Empire, going to see Alan Alda in his finest performance.

The door opened and I slipped inside, took my helmet off and sat in the back and thoroughly enjoyed the movie- I recommend seeing it, it really had some great acting that moved me in many ways.

The movie ended, I put my helmet back on, assuming the guise of the Dark Lord again and walked outside to the curb and quickly in my brother's waiting car.

Getting back to the house, I checked the paper and it was the previous week's paper- The Empire Strikes Back's final week. Whenever planning a visit to the theaters regaled as the Lord of the Sith, ALWAYS check the dates for the movie times! :P

EGF: If you bother to check the fact that I was born in '68, you'll calculate that I was thirteen when this happened.

Update: After visiting my family this Thanksgiving, I have come home with photographic evidence. Behold...

Actual Archival Photo

My Mom dug this up from her photo archive. This is an actual photo of the suit!

Embarrassing Moments

Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

If you are a geek/nerd/other, embarrassing moments are common place. The difference between geek moments and mundanes' moments is that geek moments are usually done on purpose for the one-upsmanship of fellow geeks.

This is a short post, I know, but the real purpose is to pose this question to my reader(s) (mom, don't answer this post):

What is your most embarrassing geeky moment?

Now, before you knee-jerk the "but I'm not a geek" answer, be honest! Even mundanes have had an awkward moment or two that herd them back to the fold!

Geek test:

  1. If you like girls and you find this is exciting, you are a geek.
  2. If you like boys and find this man is hot, you are a geek;

The Angels Hung the Moon

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

Putting my 3 year old boy to bed, he asks me, "Daddy, where does the Moon come from?" My head immediately fires off possible answers:

  1. The Angels hung the Moon.
  2. That's God's baseball after he made a home run.
  3. That's the Earth's sister, watching over us all.

My answer:

"The Moon was actually a part of the Earth that was knocked off when a biiig rock from space came and hit the Earth."

Clever, I thought. Science is usually less interesting than alot of fairy tales, but the story of the Moon is quite spectacular. My boy, lying in bed sucking his thumb looks thoughtful, and a little worried. I then told him about how the dinosaurs are no longer around and how that's a good thing, because (while they're really cool to think about) some were kinda dangerous. I'm realizing that I'm rapidly painting myself into a very scary corner with scientific facts and that, rather than soothing him, I was starting to paint scary pictures in his head:

The birth of the moon:

IMPACT!

The dinosaurs:

Dinosaurs

He was sucking his thumb furiously.

Waving my hand in the air and laughing, I quickly say, "Daddy was just kidding! The Angels hung the Moon and the Dinosaurs were like puppy dogs are today!"

The birth of the moon:

Happy Moon :)

 

The dinosaurs:

rowr!

All is right with the world.

Goodnight, little buddy!